Am here very far away from my very favorite T -Nagar perumal koil & of course Tirupati. I miss my Govindha too much here....Its miserable that I don't get to see him in his full alankaram(lovely decorations) nevertheless everyday so many times I think about one special moment which happened in Tirupati 1 & half years ago when I got married. Well, there were several wonderful moments in my life with my Govindhan...oh lovely perumal...What to say about his love & grace??
I would like to share about that special day....
In my In-laws' custom, whenever somebody gets newly married, they book Kalyana Urchavam for perumal in Tirupati. I was so excited & thrilled about going to Tirupati to see my athma purushan. We were supposed to be there by 10.30 or 11 am I guess..but unfortunately our train got delayed for about an hour so we couldn't make it to the Urchavam bcoz the kalyana urchavam had already commenced by then and the security couldn't allow us. Well..., it was jam-packed. Hence we were directed to the general darshan after having to skip the urchavam. Honestly speaking I didn't feel bad because I was all thrilled about getting to see him(ya the darshan) I never took that incident to be a bad sign or nothing of that sort because I always knew that HE LOVES me(only with his grace) but while we were in our queue, one of my relatives looked at me and told me..."Perhaps U do not have the luck to see Perumal!". I Just smiled and never replied back neither did I feel bad. Yes again I knew that can't be it.....as several times I have experienced his lovely expression of love which has always been my life no matter what happens in my wordily life.
I completely forgot about all such happenings & conversations and We were blessed with his lovely darshan. Now, it was time for us to buy the ladoos. We had our urchava tickets with us plus we had our darshan tickets yet not even a single counter offered us ladoo.....ya believe me....we asked each & every counter there and the answer was, "sorry no ladoos!" can anybody believe this?? We were the only ones who were deprived of having ladoos in the ladoo counter and rest of the folks got it...what was shocking was that we never got any reasons for not getting ladoos from the counter. just "sorry no ladoos!" Nobody would believe this that easily...we tried hard, stood in queue but just our family alone never got the ladoos......Everybody started panicking ....I was a new DIL & everybody looked at me sooooo differently and they started whispering to each other..."We have been to Tirupati and never such incidents had taken place to us"......I was still glad and calm because I can NEVER ever think about perumal in such a note....u know like, maybe he is punishing or nothing of that sort. Ya I can never be pessimistic about his love & grace (with his kind mercy) I don't care what others say to me.....Perumal loves me(like he does everybody) and I know that. Even if we were to be thrown out of Tirupati I wouldn't & cannot suspect his love and grace. However I was amazed at such strange happenings. Then finally we got to another ladoo counter wherein the gentleman incharge redirected us to the main entrance of the temple. He requested us to get ladoos from the security counter there in the main entrance of the temple. Can anybody believe this??? The ladoo counter was offering ladoos to everybody but to us alone he had us redirected to the security.... We were bewildered & we started discussing saying, "WHAT? How come??? In ladoo counter they denied to offer ladoos and how come in the security counter are they going to offer ladoos?" alright anyway as directed we (just the 4 of us ) went to the security counter and hesitantly requested for ladoos. The security immediately called a young boy and requested him to bring us ladoos. The boy ran to fetch ladoos...we waited ..waited and waited...the boy never returned....and LO!!!!!!!!!!! The Urchava moorthy (my sweeeeeet perumal) with his ever beautiful thaayar came there right in front of us with all mangala vadhyam(divine instruments). We got to see him soooooooooo close.....It wasn't crowded AT ALL there except for the people who brought the Urchava morthy & thaayar there. It was kind of an exclusive darshan. I just forgot everything and ran along with the Urchava moorthy till how much ever I could...crying in love .....calling out "Govindha...Govindha...Govindha...." Wow!!!! That moment was soooooooo special not because he proved my relatives to be wrong about me not being lucky to see perumal.....I don't care about all that(yet perumal cared for everything) That moment was so special because I could see and feel his love again (as ever)...Imagine if we had got our ladoos in the ladoo counter itself we wouldn't have seen perumal because that lies in a different corner all together. It was ALL his play.... his wonderful and lovely game. After having a wonderful darshan of Urchava moorthy that young boy came running with covers of huge and delicious ladoos
I Love my Govindha ......
Even now after singing my routine bhajans, I was looking at his images in my PC, my husband was commenting very kindly though "can U not think about anything else other than HIM?" what to say??? I just smiled:-)) But ya I cannot and would not want to think, dream, aspire, crave, laugh, cry..for anything else other than HIS love.
Love U Narayana! EVER...
@Narayana's Lover: Hi, and welcome to the blog! :))
ReplyDeletei am crying now, thinking of my Srinivasa, reading your post.
It's amazing how He delayed the ladoos (that's the most unbelievable thing in the world), how your relatives gt to say more stuff, and then He proved them all wrong.
And gave u this amazing darshan that no one could have imagined.
btw, it's kinda unfair how only married couples get to see Kalyana utsavam. i was taken as a kid long back, but i dont remember, naturally, as i was 4 or something at that time.
What if i said He is my lover? :))
@Narayana's Lover: oh, i am lost thinking about Him now!
ReplyDeleteWhat happened last time was most unbelievable experience for me.
i had taken some strict vows before going to Tirumala: no sandals/shoes, no using the loo, and so no eating, and very minimal water (i have heard Sri Ramanuja stopped eating two days before going to Tirumala for the same reason, i was inspired to try). We had an afternoon darshan, but i refused to eat anything before seeing Him despite starting from Chennai at around 3 o'clock.
i had planned to tell Him something, and i wanted it to be just perfect!
The line was clearing quite quick.
All along i was thinking of Him and had tears in my eyes.
i asked Him for one thing: dont stop me at the gate, take me in (people visiting Tirupati would know the way you are pushed to walk inside, closer and closer to Him, and then away and away from Him on return. i wanted that, rather than seeing Him from a greater distance, and being sent off in no time)
i had planned to tell Him i love Him. All along, my heart had been swelling with so many emotions.
Then we went inside. There, they were shutting us off at the entrance, no walking inside.
i should have been disappointed, i was a little, but seeing Him made up for it, more than anything else.
i had been phrasing and rephrasing the words in my mind all along. But, suddenly, standing in front of Him, my heart went blank.
"i love you, i am surrendered unto You" i whispered, with absolutely thoughtless condition.
And, then, a miracle happened.
One of the guards let me stand at the barrier. He was pushing everyone else, but He said- it's allright, you have a nice darshan!
!!!!!!!!!!
i was shocked, amazed, and crying, and all the while taking in His beautiful form.He was smiling the most beautiful smile, and His eyes, His feet, His form....!!!!!!!!
i came out, feeling dazed, and totally lost to Him.
He had accepted what i said. That's why He spoke to this slave through His servant!
What words will describe His greatness!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!...ILWK...That is really AMAZING:-))) He is sooo chweeet, isn't he?? Look at the way he expresses his love...!!! so sweet of him! That would have been a wonderful moment:-))JUST incredible!! ... it makes me nostalgic...Man miss him!!!ya next month am relocating to Chennai(happadah..) Just waiting to see him...Infact I have even decided what to wear when I meet him...alright let me stop my craziness here ..else I'll juZ go on and on and ON.....,
ReplyDeleteAlmost 5 & half weeks to go yaar...:-((( Trying to push & kill the time ..Wish I cud do that:-(
Just so hard to wait.....SO HARD!!!! and I want to go alone & meet him(ya after marriage such things are kind of difficult-fighting my odds)as I don't want anybody to rush me or disturb me(in case I cry or something donno meeting him after a very long time) already am kind of sleepless most of the nights thinking about meeting him....Ok let me really stop here...
Thanks a ton dear!!!!!
Thanks for appending labels & the sweet picture to the post...:-)) Kind of U:-)
ReplyDeleteHi, LoveUeverNarayana! Thanks for the great post! Krishna surely does reciprocate with His devotees! I really love how your faith in Krishna is so strong, and how you are so surrendered to His will - that's very inspiring :)
ReplyDelete@ILWK: WHOA! It's just amazing when He does stuff like that! Which is a LOT lol
@LoveUeverNarayana: When u r coming to Chennai, u must visit ParthaSarathy Perumal temple in Triplicane. i'll tell u all about him, more and more. But, i am definitely sure u'll become His slave the minute u see Him- u will fall head over heels in love! :)))
ReplyDelete@Narayana's Lover: @DP:
ReplyDeleteHis greatnes!!! How to describe- Impossible!
yet, what better job do i have than attempting to describe Him???
:))
Another thing that happened during my visit: i told u i said i wouldnt wear sandals, na?
It was afternoon, and there was a scorching sun, and all my relatives were running for a shade while walking. i am not exaggerating, and i felt like crying when this happened, and never will i be able to measure His grace- i DID NOT feel the heat!!
This has happened even in my native place, when i would not wear slippers to His temple.
But, it happened in Tirupati also!
That's what is great about Him- we think we do things, but really He executes everything.
If we want to do something for Him,He makes it possible.
That's His greatness- forever serving His slaves.
How will we pay back????
By loving more and more????
Serving Him, His servants always....
@LoveUeverNarayana: Your experience is but a proof of how great He is!
ReplyDeleteYou know, my dad is now in Tirupati??
You inspire me so much with your love for Him.
Truly...
i await the ladoos btw! :))
ILWK, that's just amazing!! I can hardly believe that you didn't feel the heat... TWICE!! Amazing amazing! Wow! Hari Hari! Oh Hari! Must You drive us this insane?!
ReplyDeleteILWK..,
ReplyDeleteWOW! Yes he executes everything...but I shd congratulate U for taking such grt efforts...
as DP said its unbelievable...and he is such a MAYAAN MAA MAYAN as Andal addresses him in one of her pasurams.
also shows how much he loves U..:-)) Nice to hear abt him ,nice to discuss abt him, nice to sing...& so on.
Dear ILWK,
ReplyDeleteAm sooo glad that U mentioned abt parthasarathy temple...looks like HE is calling me . I have been thinking a lot abt parthasarathy temple and Sri rangam as well:-)) (have nt been to both these wonderful places re)..
Hey byw..does he have a mustache in Parthasarathy temple?? no.. asked JUZ out of curiosity coz I have no clue abt his form except that I guess he does anantha sayanam..:-)) Will certainly visit triplicane and be ready to fall in love again & again & again....
@NL akka:
ReplyDeleteNL=Narayana's Lover
(i can call u akka, right?):))
i bet my PSP is calling u. Yes, the moolavar has a moustache. The utsavar has scars all on His face.
i'll write in more about Him alter! :)))
Heyyyy...,
ReplyDeleteU know what.....Last night I had a wonderful dream....the dream was that am standing right in front of PSP..there is a golden step in front of me..(must be kulasekhara appa's padi) & I got to see his most wonderful smile re...wow!!!! the moment I woke up, I remembered the dream and it was so clear ya the dream was soooooo clear. His smile was so beautiful...Can't believe only yday i read ur comment on PSP and I get such a wonderful dream of seeing him...HIS GRACE!!!! WOW!!!! what to say?? JUZ woke up re..& the 1st thing what am doing is (bfore even having a cup of coffee) having it shared with U:-)))
Yes of course U may call me akka......:-))
There is a golden step in front of His sannathi!!
ReplyDeleteakka, u were right in there with Him!!!
i once had a dream where He was hugging me, i even wrote a post about it (below link)
http://mydearestkrishna.blogspot.com/2010/07/krishna-in-my-dreams.html
It's like His full-time occupation, making slaves outta people, making them fall madly in love with Him. :))
O! He used to be in my dreams atleast once a week when i was abroad.
O! u are so blessed akka!!!! describe Him for me...i have seen Him so much, but i want to hear u describe what u saw....
promise me u'll visi Him atleast once a week, maybe even more, when u r in Chennai...
O! one who sets eyes on Him can never find anything else beautiful...
He is so awe-inpiring, majestic, wonderful...
i miss Him so much. i feel like i have lost Him completely.
My mind has been wandering where it must not, away from Him, miserable, and now am crying.
What do i do?
i have made stupid excuses to avoid pooja, etc.
i can t even think of Him clearly.
O Parthasarathyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
what do i do, akka?
i feel totally lost..
i am nothing without Him....
Hey Sweety..,
ReplyDeleteDo not cry & feel bad about anything:-))) U have surrendered yourself onto him LONGGGGGGGGGGG back...he'll take care of everything dear be it anything!!!!!
See.. U R always crying for him....HE will never ever forget ur tears(that U shed in love for him)..
sometimes such things happen u know...but He is there always to take care...WE do not have anybody other than HIM in life he knows that big time.
If u feel U can't think of him clearly...JUZ click the below link to hear a beautiful song of Meera akka on him....Whenever I hear it, my heart melts & craves for HIM..(Pyaare darshan deejo ay..tum bin rahyo na jai)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_-kdsQ3UEA&feature=related
Still if U feel disturbed or troubled...JUZ sing few songs which R close to ur heart on him...every single trouble would just vanish away.
I love "sittram siru kaalai vandhu unnai sevithu" pasuram ...I love this pasuram as much as I love Andal:-) There is a line saying(u might know though) Ettraikkum EZH ezhu piravikkum undhanodu uttrame aavom unnakke nam atcheivom...maitrai nam kaamangal matrelorr empaavay..Andal says even if other troubles(or mayaa or anything that takes us away frm him) haunt us..., pls have them removed & bless us with togetherness(with him) for N number of births that we may take...& even if we do not take births we should be with him..that is what I pray too as per Andal akka's guidance.
You will certainly feel better dear...:-))) Do not worry abt anything we have HIM..wow!! Kindly smile now....look look look there it is UR Broad smile...:-))) BE happy!!!!!! ALWAYSSSSSSSSSSSS....:-))))
Alrightyyyyy, about His description(bet this wud cheer U) am not sure how his form looks like in temple...but in my dream I saw a golden step(as I told u) right in front of me..then what I saw was he was in his anantha sayanam position, somewhere close to his paadham I saw akka(lakshmi or I do not know which akka-we have millions lol..)but not very clear though...I strained hard to see some other vigrahams as well(looks like wasn't easy to see other vigrahams-they weren't right there)I remember doing that without stamping on the golden step...Then I saw his beautiful smile( and forgot about everything even akka)....Very captivating smile indeed...and after that We(I & him) spoke for few seconds but I swear I do not remember even a single bit of the conversation...yet he was smiling all through...and there ends my dream.
I will certainly visit PSP as frequently as I can(his grace)...whoa!!!! How can I not??? Am longing to see him now......man I HATE USA!!!!!...when I say this my frnds frown at me...but whats life re without seeing him?? nothing makes me happy here...hubby's love & care, snow, luxuries, jus NOTHING can give me what I want...:-((( I juz want HIM!!!!!!
Ok..my comment has turned out to be lengthier than a blog I guess..am not gonna apologize here..as I know U can never be tired of reading about him:-))) neither can I be tired of writing about HIM!!!!!! hehe:-)